Last week my midterm was due and my Mom, sister, and my Mom's oldest friend were in town for a ladies weekend. Work stuff was just hitting new levels of stress, and I was already exhausted. When you have a chronic condition as in my case with arthritis, your body cannot handle stress. Really, and truly cannot handle stress. I am wonderful in stressful situations, like emergencies; I don't freak out when my car slides and sends me into oncoming traffic during a snow storm. I can handle all most anything with grace and dignity, but then I go home and it's all over. My body is done. It wants to sleep for a week and it wants really healthy good food or booze and ice cream, depending.
I had been handling the stress mostly well at work. I avoided it. I am not involved and I didn't let myself become entangled in anything, I maintained my normal work ethic and just showed up everyday like normal. I had just returned from an amazing trip and was feeling really and truly more like myself. I used to travel, to be more fearless. Nothing was keeping me in any particular place. Now I have two dogs and two cats. I have a car, a job, and utilities to pay. I also have a house and an amazing boyfriend. These things all mean more responsibility and so I am now firmly in one place.
I'm concerned about my midterm. It wasn't my best work. It was the start of something good, but by the time it was due, my house was filled with guests and I was just tired. So, very tired. I just hit submit five minutes before it was due and let it all go. I'll get to see the results of it very shortly and then I may have to make some very real decisions about my future. Can I manage grad school? Can I manage now?
For the moment, I am on a health kick. I am working out (which also meant I pulled my neck out and was in considerable pain for days but I digress...). I am for the moment doing everything I have a choice in. I am taking care of myself and am looking pretty damn good. My hair is long, my body is getting toned, and for the most part I'm hanging in there with the occasional pity party.
Pity parties are actually necessary, but they have a time and a place and a definitive end date. No one can/should live in pity party mode. Boy world everything suck then.
My favorite pity party past times include:
Going to see a movie by myself.
Drinking champagne on a weeknight night while watching a good movie
Drinking beer and eating crackers for dinner while reading a good book
Going to tea.... St. James Tea (My personal favorite of the moment.)
Getting a nice treatment or just sitting in the hot tub at a spa.... Betty's or 10,000 Waves (My nearest and dearest)
Bottom line: Sanity in stress in a hard won battle. Go into it rested and taking care of yourself.
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